What is this Feeling?
by jesusfoodsex
Summary: Dean/Cas College AU Castiel goes to college far from home, meets and falls in love with his roommate. This is their love story. Mentions of Uriel/Anna Castiel/Balthazar Dean/Lisa Dean/Alistair Castiel/Meg and obviously Dean/Castiel


Castiel Novak was nervous. This was his first year at college, and he was going to start here where he knew no one. He was moving all the way to a university in Kansas City from his hometown in Peoria, IL to make sure of that.

He'd had a few short email correspondences with his roommate, a sophomore named Dean Winchester. He also stalked his facebook profile, and found that Dean was attractive, badass, and straight. It worked for Castiel - straight put Dean in the unavailable zone. Still, straight or no, this was going to be his first roommate who wasn't his older brother Jimmy, who he hadn't shared a room with since the elder boy turned 13.

Castiel pulled into a parking spot close enough to the dorm, and hopped out to go get checked in. The desk worker sent him up to his room on the 5th floor to check in with his RA, a senior named Gabriel. Dean had already been there, set up and left by the looks of the place. A Led Zeppelin poster was put up over a bed made with green sheets and comforter.

"I just need you to look over the room and if you find anything out of order, write it down or we'll have to charge you for it when you check out. Then sign it and bring it back to me and you can go ahead and move in." Gabriel lectured, sounding pretty bored as he opened a lollipop.

Castiel followed his instructions and headed back to the elevator. That's when he saw Dean for the first time. Seeing pictures of him on facebook was one thing; Seeing him in real life was something else entirely. He was breathtaking. And he was so caught up in conversation on his phone that he didn't notice Castiel.

He brushed it off and headed to the front desk to check out a cart. He didn't bring all that much with him, so it somehow all miraculously fit on the cart. Castiel unloaded the cart, returned it to the desk, and came back to the room, finding Dean still on his phone at his laptop.

Working quietly, as to not disturb his roommate (and possibly to eavesdrop) he hastily put his clothes away in the empty closet and drawers, and set out to make his bed with his blue sheets and comforter. Once he finished, he started putting his school supplies and such on his desk, located next to Dean's against the window covered wall. Dean finally noticed him, and quickly ended his phone conversation, which Castiel had gathered was with his girlfriend Lisa.

As soon as Dean had closed his cell, Castiel spoke, "You didn't have to stop on my account."

Dean sighed, "Nah, man. I was looking for an out. Lisa was being a bit bitchy."

Castiel nodded, unable to look too long into Dean's beautiful green eyes, and started to set up his desktop.

Dean cleared his throat, "Well, I need to go check in with the guys. I'll see you later. Um, if you need anything, call me." And he put a post-it with his number on Castiel's desk before awkwardly exiting stage left.

Castiel was screwed.

In the month since classes began, Castiel noticed Dean was always busy. He was almost certain he had never seen Dean study, but he noticed Dean usually left for class at 9:00am and was rarely was back in the room before 2:00am, and mostly went right to bed.

Which was why it was weird when Dean came back at 2:00pm and laid on his bed with his laptop.

"Dude, you're staring."

Castiel shook himself out of it, "Sorry, I just... You're never here at this time."

Dean looked at him, "Sorry, man, were you expecting a chick?"

"N..no," Castiel started, slightly thrown off, "I just didn't think you'd ever be here during the day."

He nodded, looking down at the floor. "I just got tired of my friends. They're great and all, but sometimes I wonder why we're friends. Like, that's kinda why you're my roommate. I signed up for a dorm room without telling them. I don't want to room with any of them, because I've heard their stories of bring girls back to their rooms and not telling and just – they're not the most courteous people."

Castiel nodded.

In order to make his own friends, Castiel had taken to trying out different clubs. So far, he joined a choir, tried out the anime club, tried out the Student Activities Council, and tried out inter-mural sports. He liked the choir well enough, and that's the only thing he stayed in. He made friends with Anna, a pretty red-head, and Uriel, her macho boyfriend. They liked to make out all the time in front of everyone.

"So if I bring someone to the room for sex, you wish to know about it?"

Dean blushed, "Not the details, but a heads up would be nice."

Castiel nodded again, hoping Dean understood his use of "someone" rather than "girl."

They both turned back to their computers, Dean on some silly game, and Castiel writing a paper. Only, Castiel's focus was not on the paper anymore. Not only did he make friends with Anna and Uriel, he was getting close with a guy named Balthazar. He certainly took Castiel's attention off of Dean. And things were moving pretty quickly.

He decided to wait to tell Dean until it was a sure thing.

Since that day, Dean was in the room more, and he seemed to be studying. Castiel started spending less time in the room, due to his budding romance with Balthazar. By now, they had actually kissed, and been on several dates. Tonight, Castiel was going out his friends and Balthazar to a club. Dean kept watching him get ready.

"Going somewhere, Cas?"

That was the first time Dean had given him that nickname, "Uh, yeah. My friends and I are going to a club."

Dean made a disconcerting noise. He had never met Castiel's friends, and vice versa. Well, actually once Dean's friend Victor came over to borrow something or other, but that was really about it. "Which club?"

"Martha's Vineyard." Castiel went back to soothing his hair, but it still stuck out at every angle like he was Harry Potter or something.

Martha's was the gay bar. Dean had to know. Castiel wasn't hiding it per se, he just never told Dean aloud. His facebook page said it plain as day, and even that he was in a relationship.

Castiel finally turned to look at Dean, and saw that he seemed unphased over there, tapping away at his keyboard. He turned back to the mirror.

"Hey, could... could I go?"

Castiel froze. He was not expecting that. He supposes its alright – it's not a date, and his friends have been wanting to meet his elusive roommate. Still, Castiel wants to be sure he knows what he's getting into, "You do know that's the gay bar, right?"

Dean chuckles lightly, "Yeah. Doesn't bother me. It's cool if you don't want me to come."

"Oh." Castiel let out the breath he was holding. "No, I think it should be fine."

"Really? I guess I should get ready, then." And he ambled past him into the in suite bathroom and washed up.

Castiel smiled, and took this time to grab his shirt for the evening. He decided on a purple button-up with the sleeves folded up.

Dean wandered back into the main room and pulled out a black pinstriped button-up from his closet and matched it with a nicer pair of jeans, which Castiel couldn't help but notice how good Dean looked in just his boxer for those few short seconds.

When they both were ready, they went down to the front, where Balthazar was waiting with his car. Uriel raised his eyebrow, "Who's this, Castiel?"

"This is my roommate, Dean. I trust it's okay that he comes?"

Anna smiled, "Any excuse to sit in Uriel's lap." She scooted up into his lap and made room for Dean. Castiel slid into shotgun – because those are the rules, significant others ride shotgun. Balthazar looked a bit put out by the whole roommate thing, but changed his tune when Castiel smiled and leaned over to kiss him.

They were all under-aged, so there was no drinking to be had. They all congregated on the dance floor in a tight circle, and that's when Dean started to feel like a fifth wheel. To be fair, he hadn't known that Uriel and Anna were together. They all danced and had a good time for a while, and some random guy decided to hit on Dean. He politely declined, and excused himself to sit down for a second.

Castiel pulled himself away from Balthazar and figured he should go see what was up with his roommate.

"Dean?"

He looked up, "Hey, Cas. Sorry, I'm just not in a dancing mood anymore."

Cas sat down beside him, and they sat in silence for a while.

"To be honest, I wanted to stay in tonight." Dean looked at him. "But, my boyfriend wanted to go out with my friends. I had a test today, so I guess I should be up for this 'cutting loose.'"

"I broke up with Lisa."

"Oh."

Dean nodded, "I stopped feeling like I was in love with her, and I was hoping going out with you guys would be a nice distraction. It is, but I feel like a fifth wheel."

Castiel put his hand on Dean's shoulder, "I'm sorry."

And their eyes met, and they stared at each other for a good minute before Castiel remembered he was with his friends – his boyfriend - and looked down at the table in front of them, taking his hand back from it's perch on Dean. He blushed and mumbled, "I should get back to Balthazar."

Dean nodded, and stayed seated for a little longer before joining the group on the dance floor.

The first clue for Dean was the dreams he started having. They weren't about Cas per se, but they were about a male figure with dark hair.

Castiel was upset. Balthazar broke up with him earlier that day, and as a result, he couldn't focus on his test and might have failed a mid-term. He laid on his bed face down and silently tried not to cry. He succeeded, but he fell asleep at some point, because the next thing he knows is Dean is banging in and his alarm clock reads 2:34am and the air starts to smell heavily of sex and alcohol.

"Dean?"

"Sry Cass," Dean slurs, falling onto his bed.

"Where were you?" He asked, unable to control his curiosity.

Dean moaned, "Out."

"I know you were out." Castiel said, trying not to sound pissy, "What were you out doing?"

Dean turned his head in his bed to face Castiel, "Getting blown by Alisair."

Alistair was bad news. Castiel had met him his first week. That boy was a monster, and not what Cas needed. He propositioned him within the first day of meeting him, and that was a no-go. He was too disappointed and hurt by this whole situation to chastise Dean for this.

They don't talk about that night. It's apparent that they both know, and Dean seems to be avoiding it, because he started going back to coming in late after hanging out with his friends. Sometimes Dean would be in the room mid-day, but they rarely spoke of much more than classwork.

Castiel decided to do something brash. There was a girl who was into him, and it wasn't like he was exclusively gay. So, that night, Dean left at 7:00pm to head to dinner and then out to a friend's room, and Castiel invited Meg over.

She got there about 10:00pm, and she wasn't one for chit-chat. Meg had him on his bed shirtless, pants undone, while she herself was only in her lacy, black undergarments, kissing him full mouthed, hand in his pants when Dean came in.

And Dean was shocked for all of five seconds before he lividly ordered Meg out.

She gathered her clothes, and mimed for Castiel to call her, but Cas was too busy having a staring match with Dean to notice. He wordlessly fixed his pants and stood up. As soon as the door was closed, that was it - Dean started in, "What the _fuck_, Cas? I told you to tell me about this shit."

Castiel stood his ground, "Since you're never here, I figured it wouldn't matter. My apologies."

This served to make Dean even angrier, "God_dammit_, Cas. And with Meg? Aren't you gay? What the hell?"

Castiel's retort was lost to the knock on the door, accompanied by Gabriel's voice, "Hey guys, It's quiet hours. Is everything alright in there?"

"It's nothing." They said in unison. Dean turned away first, and flopped on his bed. Not bothering to put on his pajamas, he faced the wall, willing sleep to come.

"Okay," came Gabriel's muffled reply, and Castiel laid down on his bed, copying Dean.

They've been ignoring each other for a month. Finals week was coming up, and Dean was staying in the room studying a lot. Castiel had taken to trying to study elsewhere. That was becoming increasingly harder as he needed his computer, so they ended up both in the room a lot studying, tensions thick in the air.

Castiel made no effort to see Meg again, he preferred guys, and with all the studying he had no time to go out looking, so he was single, which meant he would definitely have to go home for Christmas break. That was the last thing he wanted.

He called up Anna, and asked her if she or Uriel would be willing to house him for break, but both were unable, and Anna brought up some roommate issues, to which Castiel replied, "I feel you." They talked about that for a good half-hour and Castiel tried not to care when Dean came in. After they hung up, Castiel decided to go to bed, not even caring that it was 8:00pm and he hadn't been asleep at that time since freshman year of high school.

The next morning, Dean was awake before him, and gave him a wary smile as he sat up, "Good morning, sunshine."

Castiel tilted his head. "Morning," He replied politely, not sure why Dean had suddenly decided to start talking to him again.

He tried to not think too much about it as he grabbed some clothes and went into the bathroom to shower.

Castiel had finished his last final. He was expecting good grades, considering all the studying he had done the last couple of weeks. Dean was still randomly making small talk with him, and he was not sure how to feel about it, since he's pretty sure Dean was supposed to be hating him for the whole Meg thing, just as he hated him for the Alistair thing.

All that remained, however, was to pack up and check out. His mother was pleasantly surprised that he had decided to come home, and she said that Jimmy was bringing his wife, Amelia, home as well.

Castiel was almost all packed up when Dean came in and tossed his bag on his bed. "One more," he sighed, before surveying his surroundings and noticing what Castiel was doing. All of his things seemed to be packed up.

Castiel barely spared him a glance before turning back to his handiwork.

"So that's it? You're just gonna leave?"

He turned around to fix Dean a confused look. "My finals are done, I might as well leave today."

"Have a nice life, I guess." Dean said, sitting down on his bed, shoving his bag aside.

Castiel got even more confused; he was not sure where Dean's passive aggressive behavior was coming from, but it was quickly becoming annoying. He chose to ignore it for now, and continued to pack his bed linens. He was pulled away by Dean's hand on his shoulder, whirling him around.

"Cas? Why won't you talk to me?"

He sighed, "What, Dean? What do you want that can't wait until after break?"

That seemed to catch Dean off guard. "You mean, you're coming back?"

Castiel tilted his head again, "Of course, I have nowhere else."

"But, I heard you on the phone with Anna, talking about a room change."

He almost laughed, but the heartbroken yet hopeful look on his roommate's face stopped him. "You mean to tell me you are worried I am moving out?"

Dean's short, unsure nod made Castiel's stomach flip. "I was talking about Anna changing rooms. Her roommate is more than unsatisfactory. I plan to remain here next semester unless you go back to being unbearable."

Dean released a breath before grabbing Castiel and kissing him. It took a few seconds for his brain to catch up before he started kissing back. When they pulled away, fighting for air, Castiel wheezed out, "Wha...Wh..When?"

Dean smiled, kissing him quickly before answering, "Sometime after I stopped hanging out all night with Lisa and the guys. I didn't know what it was until I went out with you and your friends, but then."

Castiel pushed him back and followed him to the bed, where they made out until Castiel decided Dean should get back to studying for that last final of his in the morning. After that, Dean would take him home to his house for break, and they would figure it out from there.


End file.
